Skip to main content

A little update... a little ramble... a little about me.

So, in my previous post I talked about the guy who made my heart flutter.  Oh yes, he made it flutter an awful lot!!  And then... all of the sudden... he just wasn't into me.  It's interesting, I have the book "He's Just Not That Into You" as I am sure I have mentioned here before, and it really should be required reading material for girls who are dating.  Not everything in the book will line up with people's values, but the general concepts in the book are spot-on.  I pulled out that book about three weeks ago because I was having a weird gut feeling about the boy and wanted to see what the wise book said about my situation.  Seriously, that should be my first clue.  If I have to consult a book "He's Just Not That Into You" to determine what the guy is thinking, I should count that as good intuition and just start the healing process, right?  Well, the book was inconclusive - kind of - it was too early in my relationship to really tell if I should worry yet or not, so I went with the whole not-worrying thing.

Apparently, I should have worried.  What I wish I could figure out, though, is... WHAT IS THE DEAL?  I guess guys are born with a different switch in their brain that can be REALLY into someone and then all of the sudden not.  Maybe it's not a gender thing, but I was just not born with that.  I was so happy with this guy... as I said in my previous post, he made me feel beautiful - something I haven't felt in many years.  Everything just seemed to be... well, perfect.  I guess I was the only one who felt that way, though... and that's okay.  He wasn't a jerk, so I am not mad at him.  He just wasn't into me and you can't fault a guy for that, right?

People tell me I need to be more careful about guarding my heart and waiting to trust.  I can't believe I am going to say this, but I think they're wrong.  Yes, that means I get hurt more than my fair share, but after all I have been through, I think it is a testament to God that I have the ability to trust like I've never been on the receiving end of unfaithfulness and the ability to love as if I've never been hurt.  I'd really rather go into new relationships all in, than to try to be someone I'm not - guarded and emotionally closed.  That's just not me.  I am an open book.  An open, trusting, loving, optimistic book.  I just pray that God send someone my way that can appreciate that and treat it carefully.  And man, I wish He would hurry.

****EDIT 10/22/2011 - Yes, I will keep on trusting and loving... but thanks to speaking to him again one more time and the wonders of the internet, I found out that yes, he was actually a jerk and yes, I was getting played for who knows how long.  He has a girlfriend now and I can't believe I fell for the nice guy thing... AGAIN.  Lame.

Comments

  1. TifanyOctober 11, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    I absolutely agree with you on disagreeing with the people who say you should wait to trust someone. I think you've got it right...even if right now it hurts.
    You are in my prayers...I love you and all your open book-ness!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hannah FancherOctober 11, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    I think you're right too. Because, as I think I heard you quote...I think it was Beth Moore...if you still have scars that hurt then you aren't healed. I think that being able to guard yourself is not necessarily a good thing. Jesus came to the earth knowing that He would be rejected but He still gave us His all anyway, right? :) You're awesome, Sarah! I've been missing your "What I Wore" posts!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We're Doing It Scared

Here we are.  It's that first part of the roller coaster where you slowly climb up the huge hill.  You can see the crest at the top and it's exciting, but you're a little nervous, too.  This is our first time riding this rollercoaster and we expect lots of high highs and low lows, but we really don't know what to expect, ya know?  But here we are in the front seat.  We're almost to the very top and a whole new adventure awaits. Jake caught up to my foster parent training, so we both only have one in-person class, two webinars, and one doctor visit to go before our home study. All of this should be wrapped up in the next two weeks! There are really a lot of misconceptions about foster care, so I hope that taking y'all through the process with us will help to clear some things up.  One thing I wanted to address today is how foster care has been brought up a lot recently in the abortion debate.  It shows a HUGE misunderstanding about who is in foster ...
Post a Comment
Read more

What flags am I supposed to be looking for again?

Well, I edited my last post after finding out that I give people too much benefit of doubt.  My brother called the other day to find out what happened and I was explaining how I didn't see any red flags this time, so that's why the whole thing scares me.  Then, I started to tell him about a few little things that made me uneasy, but I didn't really see them as flags.  I'm starting to realize, though, maybe that feeling in my gut is the red flag.  The moment I start to feel insecure - is that the point I need to say I'm done? About a month into dating this guy, someone used the word "boyfriend/girlfriend" about us and we hadn't used those terms  yet.  I kind of laughed and said, "So... are you my boyfriend now?"  What I envisioned to be a cutesy moment where we start using the title turned into a conversation that left me feeling uneasy about our relationship.  He spouted off things about how we needed to take it slow and I was so determined ...
Post a Comment
Read more

My current problem. Okay, one of them.

Although I bought the storage bins with the pink lids thinking they were the cutest ones available, I hate seeing them every time I walk in my room. I thought that this lovely Waverly fabric would come to the rescue! I bought it years ago to make a curtain and then decided it was too busy to cover that much space. I have toyed with a few different ideas and I think making an extra-long bedskirt (since my bed is extra high off the floor) is the best choice... I think. Before I start all this sewing, though, I'd like some opinions. Does this look like too much? Whaddya think? Need to see more of the room? Is this just TOO much? Any other ideas? I'd love some advice!
5 comments
Read more